My Story

This is an account of the life of Philip Nute as written by Philip Nute.

I was born Feb 15, 1957 at South Shore Hospital in Weymouth, Massachusetts. At the time my family lived in a section called Weymouth Landing. The landing is in the middle of Weymouth. In September 1958 we moved to Easy St in South Weymouth. We're about a half mile from South Shore Hospital. We have been here ever since. I have never left home.

Weymouth was the second town to be settled after Plymouth. The first settlement was called Wessagusett but failed the next year. It was settled a second time and called Weymouth. There is a Weymouth England but I don't know if it's related.

My grandfathers name was Warren Wilkins Nute. He was born in New Bedford Mass and lived there his entire life. He married an English immigrant named Maud Tattersall. He served on a sub chaser in the North Atlantic during WWI. In Aug 1960 he went to St Lukes hospital in New Bedford for an operation on an anyerism in his leg and died on the operating table. I wonder now if this was an accident.

My fathers name was Gordon Bamford Nute. He married my mother while training in Texas during WWII. He flew 35 missions over Germany as a navigator on a B-17. He hated the government, the church and the police. The rhetoric on these subjects was never ending.

The words 'anglo saxon' the the term white anglo saxon protestant comes from the anglo saxons who initially lived in southeastern Germany. When Rome fell in 410 AD some of them migrated all the way to the British Isles. When they got there they killed all the men to get rid of Romanist influence, In the next 200 years they developed a system that was more humane and involved everyone. The Pope has been trying to stamp it out ever since, The desire for a system free of Romanisn has become known as 'The Arthurian Legend'. I was a thought criminal/jew before I hit the ground. They're having trouble getting rid of me.

I have been seeing Psychiatrists since my 18th birthday in 1975. I have been taking medication since 1978. For most of that time I was on just one medication, Prolixin. Prolixin is one of the first medications that came out in the 1950's. I was also a regular at a clinic in Quincy called South Shore Mental Health for many, many years. I had gone through a lot of doctors. In ate 1995 I was given a new doctor. She was fortyish, white, blonde hair average height average weight. Without my asking she switched me to a new medication called Risperdal. It has been a complete disaster.

Risperdal is a newer medication called atypical. In 1995 it had only been on the market for a year or so. When you switch medications you do it very slowly. By April 1996 I was on just Risperdal. At the time I had a full time job. The very first day I was on just Risperdal I passed out at work. I don't know how long I was out no one found me. I woke up left work and went to South Shore Hospital. I spent several days there but they said nothing was wrong. I think I passed out the day of the Boston marathon.

Not long after that the new doctor left. She had been there only a few months. I was assigned another Dr. He was the doctor in charge of the clinic and been there for many years. I remained with him until I left in 2003.

I quit the job in Oct 1998. I just couldn't get there anymore. I had been given several warnings about calling in sick. Immediately I had a terrible time sleeping. I was often up all night. I began having a kind of buzzing in my head. In either 1999 or 2000 I went to a Doctor about the buzzing. She was an ear, nose and throat Dr. I had an MRI done . She said nothing was wrong and it was probably tinitis.

By 2001 I was fed up with SSMH and Dr's in general and wanted to move on. The plan was get a job stop the pills stop seeing Dr's. In March or April 2002 I got a job . I lasted three weeks. I was completely unable to function. I decided to try Day Treatment for a while and see if I could get back to work. I started in July 2002.

In January 2003 I found a new provider. While there I asked to be removed from Risperdal and put on Seroquel. What ever happened to me with Risperdal Seroquel made worse. Sometime later in 2003 I switched providers again.

In January 2004 I couldn't take it anymore and I wound up in the hospital. Pembroke Hospital in Pembroke Massachusetts. This was my first hospitalization since 1978. I was there three weeks. The Dr. put me back on Prolixin as well as a couple others. I went back to my provider. I also went back to Day Treatment. They didn't give me a counselor. I was assigned to the program director. I stayed a few months and left.

I couldn't take being back on Prolixin. I was getting suicidal. I tried several times to get the Dr. to do something. Instead I went back to Seroquel on my own.

In Sept 2004 I tried taking a class at a local college. But I was still unable to function and quit after a couple of weeks. I still wanted to do something. I got a job at Fedex in late Oct. I was supposed to show up on a Saturday for orientation but I couldn't face it. I wound up back in the hospital. This time it didn't go smoothly.

They put me on a dual diagnosis ward. The Dr. took my medication away cold turkey and wouldn't give me anything to sleep. Any Dr knows this is a recipe disaster. I had a complete breakdown and wound up on the adult psychotic ward.

Still they wouldn't give me anything to sleep or anything. They tried several things to get me committed. Late at night a staff member came in and gave me something they said would help me sleep. Instead I think it was Viagra or Cialis. I had the appropriate reaction. When I left my room to ask somebody the most attractive member of staff was lying on a bed in a room that I went by. The door was partially closed. As I went by she said "So was it her". I had this figured as a trap.

Several days later my roommate moved everything out as if he were leaving. I was lying in bed with my eyes closed. After he left someone came to the door and started saying his name. Like they were going to start calling me his name. I completely ignored them. Several minutes later he moved back in. They finally started me on a drug called Zyprexa. At this point I decided to cooperate for a couple of weeks and just get out of there.

While I was there I ran into a very young girl. She looked as though she were 10 or 11 yrs old. I had never seen someone like her. By Nov 2004 I had been seeing Drs for almost 30 years. This fact indicates to me that very few of these people get out because, if you keep reading, there are quite a few. She had a distant gaze in her eyes. In the morning before breakfast we would go over the rules. One rule was you weren't supposed to say anything to the kids in the cafeteria. If they said something to you, you were supposed to send them to staff. When we would go there the place was crawling with them. I wondered much later why there was a kid on the adult Psychotic ward if there was a children's ward in the building.

Another strange thing happened during my second stay. The first ward I was on was a dual diagnosis ward. People had both a mental issue and a substance problem. There was a girl they called Sara. All day long she would get a running start a distance from the door and slam into it demanding to be let out. Whoever was on duty would spend 5 or 10 minutes calming her down and getting her back to her room. Fifteen minutes or so later she did it again. People do get committed but later I thought this was strange.

Between my stays in Pembroke I went there one night to a MDDA meeting. I believe it stands for Manic Depressive Depression Association. There was a man named Mark whose story went like this. He lost his job and got very angry and apparently did something stupid to his former employer. He must have wound up in court and agreed to see a psychiatrist. Bad choice. He listed 4 medications he was taking. One was Risperdal. He was now convinced he was depressed. He complained all he did was watch Court TV.

I managed to get out of the hospital in a couple weeks. I was supposed to go back to SSMH. The Dr. didn't give me enough medication to get me to the appointment. Probably to get me back into the hospital. This was the time I decided to try to get off my pills again and try to stop seeing doctors.

Prior to either trip to Pembroke I began having trouble with my car. I had a Chevy Lumina. I was told the under carraige was so rusted it couldn't be fixed. Everyone I took it to wouldn't fix it. I was forced to buy a newer one. I went to Best Chevrolet in Hingham. In the process of buying it the price kept getting mixed up. I had to keep reminding them of what was agreed upon. Before he died my father seemed to think it wasn't an accident. This leads me to believe these people have been after me before any hospitalizations.

In January 2005 I went to another hospital ER. Getting off the pills wasn't going well. This time I went to McLean Southeast, a private hospital on the grounds of the Brockton VA complex. It is associated with McClean Hospital in Belmont, supposedly the best hospital in the country. I was put back on Zyprexa as well as a couple others. I got out in a couple of weeks and was again sent to SSMH.

This time I kept the appointment. It was with a nurse practitioner. I also got a therapist. In June I began to try again to get off the pills. By August I had a couple months without Zyprexa. This made the nurse very angry. In August I told her I was off one of the other pills. I think she saw the psychotic state I was in and did something really nasty. During the course of the conversation I think she said something completely strange. Something that didn't fit at all in the conversation. And then went back to the topic. I think this was designed to make me crazy. She came up with some excuse why she couldn't make another appointment. I left the building for a few minutes and came back for my appointment with the therapist. She never showed. In the next few days she canceled all my refills at the pharmacy. She knew I was going to have a problem.

On Sept 7 2005 I was absolutely crazy. I still wasn't sleeping. I asked my mother for some money so I could leave and start somewhere else. She said no. In the middle of the night I left heading for Mass General hoping I could get something to sleep. I got lost and never found it. I ended up going north on rt128. I headed South on rt 95 like I was going to leave. I began to get suicidal. Somewhere southbound in Attleboro I totaled the car trying to kill myself. I failed.

I was taken from the scene to a hospital ER in Attleboro. From there I went to another mental hospital. Arbour Fuller. I was put back on Prolixin and Thorazine. I was there three weeks. Again I was sent back to SSMH. This time I had a counselor with the Department of Mental Health in the very same building as SSMH. I lost my license and my car.

While in that hospital I ran into two more people who had the problem the young girl in Pembroke had. They were men. This brings the count to 3 in less than a year. At one point someone put me in with these people.

Just before I wound up in Arbour Fuller I sent some drawings for one of my inventions to Intel in Santa Clara California. It was for 2 different improved PCB manufacturing processes. A couple weeks later New Orleans suffered huricane Katrina. At the time I thought nothing of this. But since learning things about the New World Order and all the crazy research I suspect my drawings had something to do with this. This sounds really crazy but I have come to believe they can control the weather. And I'm not alone. Since then there have been numerous cases where this has occurred.

In Nov 2005 I called the Attleboro District Court to see if there were any charges pending. They said no. I have never been arrested so maybe I was getting a break.

Again I had a nurse for medication. I also got a therapist. In early December 2005 I decided to try again to give up the pills. By the end of December I was doing well. Like a dummy I told this idiot from DMH I was off them. A couple weeks later I got a letter from Attleboro District Court saying I was charged with Driving to Endanger and Marked Line Violation. I started having problems.

I went to a therapist appointment around January 20th 2006. She did something that was completely responsible for what happened next. She insisted that I talk about some things that go through my head on a daily basis that are just stupid and don't mean anything. I was unable to fend her off. She made it sound like it was all so important. It was just stupid stuff. I left feeling completely hopeless. I attempted suicide several days later.

I wound up in South Shores ER. From there I went to a psych unit in Carney Hospital in Dorchester. This time I wound up on Geodon and Zoloft. Geodon is very hard to get off of. When I left I was supposed to go to SSMH. Instead I made my own appointment with this hospital. I think this made DMH really angry.

While there I ran into another person with the problem. A very young heavy set black man.

When I made the appointment with Carney outpatient my DMH counselor called my parents phone to complain. I never gave him or SSMH permission to speak to my parents. I sent him a certified letter telling him to close my case. This was Feb 2006.

I went to court on April 20th for the Driving to Endanger. DMH showed up and interfered in it. I got 1yr supervised probation with conditions. I had to take medications as prescribed and see DMH regularly. The probation was transferred to Quincy.

I tried to put off seeing DMH as long as possible. I thought he might do something else to make me crazy. In an attempt to get me to cooperate I believe he gave my parents something to make me sick. I believe they were putting it in the things I drink. Sometime in June I went to the South Shore ER where I was given something that really made me sick. I wound up back in Carney. I got out again in a few weeks. This time the dr gave me a break. He took me off all these new medications and gave me a weak older one called Trilifon. I started sleeping like a baby. I continued to use this stuff on and off for the next year.

Again I ran into someone I thought was having the problem. She was a very young very, very attractive black girl. She looked maybe 19 or 20. She was very pretty. They were making her stay in her room which means she might not have been taking her medications. She didn't have the look in her eyes but something happened that didn't make sense. There was a young black man named Roger also on the ward. He started hitting on her in the cafeteria one day but lost interest. She couldn't hold a conversation.

I managed to put off seeing DMH till September. But my PO in Quincy was getting angry. When I saw DMH in Nov I gave him some crap. He goes "Well maybe we shouldn't meet anymore" I was like fine with me and walked out believing I had solved one of my problems. In early Dec 2006 I got a letter saying I was charged with violating my probation. DMH had called my PO in Attleboro and said I refused to see him. After the letter but still in early Dec I went to my PO in Quincy and told as much of my story as I could. I was hoping he would investigate or something and I could get these people off my back.

I cleared up the probation violation and I think my telling my Quincy PO helped get DMH off my back. When I went back to probation I got a different PO. He let me go in March 2007 a month early. Imagine that. The whole thing was a sham.

I thought I was doing OK. I went off my pills in December 2006 and was OK. In June 2007 I got a letter from a collection agency in Chelsea. They claimed I owed Mass Highway around $225.00. I paid it figuring I did have the accident. But later I called Mass Highway and they said I owed nothing. The company called and said Mass Highway sent the money back. I never saw the money again.

This time I wanted to do something to get even. And maybe finally get them off my back. Whoever they are. I wrote a very detailed email and sent it to WBZ I-Team. This may not have been the best idea.

During the summer of 2007 I was having my parents drive me to the Braintree T to spend the day in Boston. One day they said their internet connection was down and they wanted to use mine. I had put a password on my computer. I told them what it was. Sometime soon after my mother switched the phone service from Verizon to Comcast. When they did this they put a new modem in my room. The phones go through the cable. So I can't shut it off without shutting down the phones. I now believe there is a bug in the modem. I have a radio I listen to a lot that's about 6 ft away. I think they know when I'm listening.

I have been in that room of the house for at least 20 yrs. There was only one phone line. I put it there in 97 or 98 to get on the internet. Sometime during 2007 I discovered a second line.

When I gave them the password I think they allowed someone to put something on my computer. I later discovered an option "Bonjour" in the exception tab of the windows firewall. As well as a few other things. I believe half the world knows everything I type the minute I type it. This is being typed on a laptop not connected to anything.

In Sept or Oct 2007 I began trying to find something about Risperdal. I wanted to know what was wrong with me. At one point I typed "Risperdal Cerebrovascular" into Google. I was led to this by the fact that a black box warning was put on Risperdal warning of stroke in elderly. I found a study saying "Risperdal Irreversibly Binds to and Inhibits the H5 HT Serotonin Receptor". It was done by a college in Albany NY.

I also found some articles about Risperdal in newspapers. One article was about Minnesota. They are the only state that requires drs to report money given to them by pharmaceutical companies. It's not illegal but they have to report it. Another was about a young girl prescribed Risperdal to gain weight. She wound up with a back problem. Others reported the federal government had just approved it for the treatment of bi-polar in children and that that diagnosis had exploded over the past ten years.

I thought people should know about this. I tried sending some letters to some media organizations. I don't think they got there. But I'm not sure what led me to this conclusion. I think I did get something to Oprah in Chicago. I had put everything on a CD. Just before I left for the mailbox I hand wrote a note with as much as possible and made a separate envelope. I was doing this on a Sunday. The box is across the street from South Shore Hospital. There was man washing windows at the hospital in a cherry picker. On a Sunday? I think the letter got through but I'm not sure. Right after Oprah began having problems with her school in South Africa. But at the time I did'nt understand the problem of Synchronicity and the whole thing might have been done on the TV to throw me off. They have you explain why you are mad, even if you are not mad

I came to believe even more people were following me. I made some copies of the study and some of the articles from the New York Times and tried to bring them to the US Attorney in Boston. I thought he was in the JFK building near city hall plaza. I got lost on the way there and stopped to ask someone in a building. When I got to city hall a police car drove onto the plaza and parked in front of the JFK building got out and walked away. The door to the JFK was locked but it was about 6 PM on a weekday. Channel 7 was right next door so I left a copy. I later realized this was the first real evidence of Synchronicity. How did someone contact the police officer at the JFK building in the short time it took me to get there?

I walked to Park St and went back to Quincy Center. I walked to the Police station and tried to report what SSMH had done. They called an ambulance and I nearly wound up back in the hospital. The next day I turned my computer on and I discovered a soldier from Quincy had been murdered in Iraq. Her name was Ciara Durkin. I immediately thought my trip to the Quincy Police station had something to do with it.

Ciara Durkin was not just of Irish descent but I think she was an Irish citizen not and American citizen. She was probably as catholic as the pope. In the weeks that followed channel 7 was embroiled in a controversy about releasing the medical records of 2 firefighters who died in a fire in August 2007. Was this a cover story?

They continued to follow me and do things. I concluded that much of what happens gets done through Dr's and hospitals. My father went to have a triple bypass after Thanksgiving. I was going to be alone for a couple of days. I thought they would kill him or me so I sent my story to hundreds of TV and newspapers. My father has since died. They are now using my mother.

There are a lot of other reasons I sent the emails. I had come to believe this has something to do with a conspiracy to rule the world. And it is centered at the highest levels of the American government. A few days after I sent the emails they showed whoever was in charge of the CIA at the time on TV. He had a look on his face like he was a deer in the headlights. I am in a no win situation. If I leave I won't last long. If I stay they mess with my family. No one will help.

I had a website for many years. Www.zsezse.com. In August 2007 I decided to give it up. Later I wanted it back. I kept going to Godaddy.com and typing it in to see if it were available. When you type it in you can also find out who owns it. It kept saying "Pending Delete". In early Dec 2007 it said it was owned by "Euronext". Many times watching CNBC I have seen them talking to someone from Euronext. There has been a banner in the background that says" NYSE Euronext". I went to zsezse.com and there was a form you could send a message. I never sent a message. Sometime around Christmas zsezse.com was available again. I now have it back. But it is not currently active. My site is www.philipnute.com.

Around the same time NYSE Euronext was working to move to Dubai Abu Dhabi. Is this the capital of the New World Order? It sits at the mouth of the Straits of Hormuz. Eighty percent of our oil flows through there. They could cut us off in an instant.

Some really strange things started happening with the TV. I wanted to go for a walk one day so I went to the front door to see how cold it was. I sat down to have breakfast. The second I turned the TV on there was a scene from a movie where there was a mental patient sitting at a table with a room full of doctors. The patient kept complaining that he couldn’t go out by himself and go for a walk. The doctors kept telling him he could. Just as quickly he would complain again. Another time I had ordered something on the internet. Some silver to make jewelry. I knew it was about to arrive by tracking it on the internet. I sat down to watch The Colbert Report on TV. I got up to go to the bathroom. The bell rang. I went to the front door. It was DHL. I had to sign for it, which I thought was strange because I never had to do this before. I went back to the TV. Just then Colbert was signing this enormous check for money he had raised for the troops in Iraq. DHL is no longer in business. I don't know if this had anything to do with it.

I'm not totally stupid about electronics. I graduated Wentworth Institute of Technology in 1984 with an associates degree in electronic engineering. I have at least 8 yrs experience working in the field. I started thinking about how they could do some of the things they do with the TV. And do it maybe from Dubai. They now have movies on demand over the cable. So they can deliver a single show to a single TV at any address. I started thinking about how they could do this on a global scale. I watch CNBC a lot. Back in the 1990's there was a company called Global Crossing. They strung fiber optic cable to all continents and then went bankrupt in the dotcom bust. The man who started the company walked away with millions. CNBC made a half assed attempt to go after him. The entire network wasn't necessary. We were only using 3 or 4 % of the fiber optic cable we had already strung. If there is a network powerful enough to put a single show on any TV in the world, thats it. If this whole thing ever goes off the first thing anyone should do is cut those cables and any other communications. Their little Shangri-La will go from a fortress to a prison PDQ.

As 2008 progressed strange things happened on a daily basis. If I had kept a log I would have filled a couple of notebooks by now. I began saying to myself “Santa delivers the toys, the reindeer fly him around”. Of course I never verbalized this because you know that would be crazy. They have you explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad One thing that happened was this. My mother was going back and forth to Milton Hospital for doctor appointments. One time I brought some letters to see if I could find a mailbox. I found them at the front door. The next time we went they had been moved to the back.

After Nov 2007 I tried as best I could to stay out of the whole thing. I was hoping the political process would work. But around the middle of May I was sick of the crap. I sent 2 emails, one to SSMH in Quincy and the other to Pembroke Hospital. On Thurs May 15 the police arrived with an ambulance and I was taken to South Shores ER. Just before the police arrived I was watching The Colbert Report. He did some skit called “Alligators love marshmallows”. A few days later I was at McClean Southeast on the grounds of the Brockton VA. This is where I really learned about Synchronicity.

A couple of weeks after arriving someone wrote on the bulletin board near the patient phones “Santa called, he wants his sleigh and reindeer back, The Staff”. I knew I was in trouble. I wanted to get out of there. One night I stuffed a toilet with paper towels and flushed it over and over to make a mess. The police got called. I got into a little scuffle and broke my hand. When you get in trouble at McClean they don't call the Brockton Police. The VA Police come. Brockton or even the Mass State Police need permission from the VA to set foot on the property. It's under federal jurisdiction. I later wondered how much local authorities actually knew. I eventually contacted some of them and this may have helped in getting me out.

I signed a 3 day letter to try to get out. When you do that they have 3 days to let you go or take you to court to commit you for 6 mos or a year. They can also court order medication or shock treatment. They took me to court. Surprise, surprise. I was committed for 6 mos and ordered to take medication. This time it was Abilify.

One morning after my hearing I was sitting in my room waiting for breakfast. I began to have a long train of angry thoughts about the hearing. There were 2 male staff at the hearing sitting just to my left. Probably in case I went off. I didn't. The judge whispered the verdict so low no one could hear him. I was the only one didn't know when it was over. Anyway just as the train of thought came to an end one of the staff poked his head in and said “mornin Phil”. Was that train of thought put in my head. Was I supposed to go off. As the weeks went on I made up a little synopsis of how the hospitals work. Hunger, boredom, sleep deprivation, psychology, pills, lies, rumors, misinformation, discharge plans The idea is to get you to go off and get yourself in deeper.

I was assigned a human radio. This is hard to explain. They said his name was Keith Bradshaw and he was from Dighton. He was in charge of the daily harassment. Whatever was going on in my head became the act for the day. He played on that to get me to go off.

We were put in the only two single rooms. They were next to each other. One day he got really angry and broke a window and put a big hole in the wall. I forget how the whole thing worked but they asked my brother and mother to come for a meeting, without my permission, and it all tied together somehow. I forget. It didn't work. I didn't go off.

The train of thought thing happened again towards the end of my stay. This time with the social worker. I didn't go off.

The phones in these places are a joke. Pembroke in particular. They are right in front of the desk. They monitor everything you say. If they don't like it they just shut it off. In McClean the pay phone eats quarters like a slot machine. Though there are other phones.

I got out on Aug 7. Even though you're committed for 6 mos they can let you go whenever they want. I was supposed to go back to treatment. I went for a couple of weeks to make it look good and quit. The crazy stuff kept happening. A couple of times the cab showed up to take me to treatment even though I had canceled all of it. I was still hoping the political process would do something. I have become more and more convinced its hopeless.

On Dec 6 2008 I went to the Hanover Mall with my mother. We were going to have a cup of coffee and sit in the hall. As we sat a small girl kept walking by. I was saying to myself “boy shes a walking fool”, “is she lost”. After a while the police started poking around. There is a police outpost located in the mall. My mother goes “lets get out of here”. I came to believe I was being set up for a sex crime. This set me off. No more mister nice guy. I went home and put stuff on the internet about Synchronicity the hospitals and all kinds of stuff. The Colbert Report did something I forget what it was. It had something to do malls. The TV began reporting something about an explosion at the Arsenal Mall in Watertown. I began thinking “Is this a cover story?” “Are they trying to divert attention away from Hanover?” “Did something actually happen at Arsenal?” A week or so later we had a really bad ice storm here in Boston that shut down everything.

The problem at Hanover wasn't the first thing. In Sept or Oct I put something up about what I called “The Shorter”. It was an invention where you could destroy a lot of electronic equipment very quickly in a building. Soon after there was a fire at the Citgo sign in Kenmore Square and in a manhole outside the DMV in downtown Boston. I was thinking about trying to get my license back.

The crap continued through 2009. It was obvious electing Obama didn't help. I put it up I took it it down. I don't want to be responsible for this. I don't really know what the right thing is. I want to do the right thing.

As 2010 came I really lost it. I got sick at the end of 2009 and I don't think it was an accident. I went to South Shore Hospitals ER and they did nothing. In fact I think they made it worse. For the last hour or so that I was there they had me in the hall in front of the nurses station. Directly next to me was a young man with swastika tatoos. There may have been someone there directing the whole thing, but I don't know for sure.